e’re officially in the prime months of boating season that some say begins with the summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. The timing of the summer solstice depends on when the sun reaches its northernmost point of the equator, which means summer technically and officially began on Sunday, June 20, this year. With all due respect, I strongly disagree.

I tend to believe for boaters on the Great Lakes, summer actually begins some time in May when the weather starts getting nice again, and at the very least you could make a strong case for the three-day weekend as part of Memorial Day as the kickoff point.

What does this mean? It means it is that time of year where we abandon our homes and leave our neighbors wondering where we go for the next 15 weekends or so. For our “winter neighbors” this can be a very confusing time, especially if they’re not boaters themselves.

I’ve compiled a short list to help your neighbors recognize that you are a boater in case they haven’t figured it out on their own just yet. With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy for borrowing his well-known format, here is what I came up with:

• If your neighbor doesn’t take a lot of road trips, yet because of his weekend commute he’s replacing his vehicle’s tires more often than Kyle Busch, you might live next to a boater.
• If your neighbor missed your daughter’s wedding because she scheduled it on a weekend between Memorial Day and Labor Day, you might live next to a boater.
• If your kids have ever complained that their friends next door got to miss school for a week in May because the weather was just too nice not to be on the water, you might live next to a boater.
• If your neighbor can’t remember your first name, yet she can name every kid and grandkid of all her marina neighbor’s family (and their birthdays), you might live next to a boater.
• If your buddy does all of his weekend chores in the summer on Wednesday nights, you might live next to a boater.
• If your local pastor has ever reported your neighbors missing to the authorities, you might live next to a boater.
• If your neighbor’s kids are in every possible extracurricular activity from dancing to soccer from September to May, yet don’t sign up for a single thing in the summer, you might live next to a boater.
• If you’ve ever attempted to borrow a tool from your neighbor, only to discover he keeps them at the marina, you might live next to a boater.
• If every party you’ve ever been to at your neighbor’s house (including at Christmas time) was luau-themed, you might live next to a boater.
• If your neighbor has ever claimed seasonal depression as the reason he put buoys around his car, you might live next to a boater.
• If the marina owners were invited to your neighbor’s anniversary party and you weren’t, you might live next to a boater.